we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
