so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
