btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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