if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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