Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
