Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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