did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
