Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Sponge bath it is.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
