I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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