Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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