There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You pole danced in your parka.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
