i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize