there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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