Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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