brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
