if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
