how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm too high and old for this...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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