I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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