3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
