Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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