Screwed.edu
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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