dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
