you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
FUCK WHALES
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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