...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
