Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I think I just shit out all my problems.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
