3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
smell my finger.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Randomize
