I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
