i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
