what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
