I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
