If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
