btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
