everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
try to milk me bitch
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