afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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