i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize