It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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