my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
