we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
