i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize