elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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