And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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