he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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