I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
