my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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