never play flip cup with pint glasses
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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