Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
