i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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