Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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