yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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