Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
