If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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