Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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