This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
