When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
