"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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