Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize