Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
